False Evidence Appearing Real

Have you heard that before? The acronymn for that is FEAR. The opposite of faith, the stealer of dreams, the biggest culprit that makes you doubt yourself. Franklin D. Roosevelt said that you have nothing to fear but fear itself. After all fear does not exist anywhere except in the mind.

I never realized how paralyzing fear can be until a couple years ago when I was in a new job and had to support the family. Failure was defintely not an option but the fear of failure was weighing on my mind. Now when I think about it I wonder how I survived - no sleep, no food, constant anxiety and at one point even the feeling of gloom and doom as if you are buried in a deep hole and there is no out. I remember feeling so alone and paranoid and no matter what I did it was never enough. It was the fear - constantly in my head - the what ifs - the feeling of letting everyone down.

I remember calling my close friends and family trying to get a sense of what to do - how to cope. When I started thinking of not waking up the next morning, and I got yelled at by my loved ones for thinking so foolishly, I knew I had to shake myself out of it. After all I was a positive person and how come I alllowed myself to become so fearful.

The constant rhythm of 'this too shall pass' in my head helped me get through. Never under estimate the power of prayer and good friends and family. At that point I truly understood that it never really matters how much money you make or what people say. It is about how good you make another person feel or how you can help them.

Even though I would like to forget that experience, it is one that I will never forget. Conquering the fear is what makes you stronger. When the lesson is learnt a new lesson begins. When you go with the flow it all works out.

Today I am in a similar job, but not fearing, just going with the flow. I am learning the lesson and hopefully when this lesson is learnt a new one is on its way.