You can handle it

I was watching the news (I know I should not) and thinking of how can so many things can go wrong at one time - whether it is the jobs, the economy, the house slump and now the swine flu. And at every step the President has been able to come out and say we are doing everything we can.

I am impressed because he is not saying that he can solve all the problems - even though that is his attempt in the long run - but the very fact that he is doing whatever he can to handle it, makes me feel better. The President is a classic example of getting a handle on it.

God gives you only what you can handle. The President can handle it, for sure. All around there is so much of gloom and doom, you do hear of the suicides here and there but for the most part - people are handling it. Taking the changes in stride and making the most of what they have and being grateful.

So every time something does not go your way - remember that God only gives you what you can handle.

How do you stay married for 10 years or more?

This was the question my teenager asked me over the phone. My first response was - why do you want to know? I had all sorts of scenarios going through my head. I was relieved to hear it was a part of sociology project. I told her to ask her dad.

However, her question was thought provoking. It made me start to think what has kept us going all these years. Most of the kids ask how can you stay with the same person for so long, I know I did when I was a kid. But now I realize how important is to have another person with you going through every event in your life.

I was curious to hear what he had to say about keeping a marriage together. He said it one sentence - similar values, children and companionship. it was the shortest interview with the most information. These are important factors - having similar values is the glue that holds it together, kids keep you busy early in the marriage and companionship is important so you don't die of boredom.

If anyone ever told you that marriage is a bed of roses - they are lying. No marriage is easy and you really have to work at it. It does not matter if you had an arranged marriage or a love marriage - you still got to work at it.

Don't take anything for granted and be happy whatever you do. Just my .02$.

Romance story come to life

Did you hear of the millionaire guy who was looking for a wife? His needs are very specific - she has to have brains, body and balance and has to be between 5'5 and 5'6.

Now I don't blame the guy- after all how can he distinguish whether she is after his millions or not right? In India we call it arranged marriage - of course we have a few more variables thrown in along with horoscopes. Here he has a marriage broker whom he is paying 50 grand! By the way in case you did not know - nobody knows what he looks like or his name.

I am not sure who would want to marry the guy - but I am sure there are a lot of takers. If this was a romance novel, she would need to get married to get out of some other kind of trouble and he would agree. Of course he is in it for life but he needs her to sign a prenuptial just to be on the safe side. She will agree as long as she gets to change her name and gets his protection.

In a matter of time, the villain shows up and tries and blackmails her. She tries to cover it up and fails. When she gets into trouble cause the blackmailer does not believe that she does not have the money, the hero shows up. She confesses, but the hero is hurt and lost trust - just as he was getting used to having her around and making him feel whole.

So she has to something totally out of character for her like - say that she can walk away so that he can get on with his life. And she does walk away, but they are both miserable and they finally get together and proclaim their love for each other and live happily ever after.

The End.

You are as old as you feel!

Haven't you heard of never asking the birthday person their age or never asking a woman her age? Do you wonder why? It is because most women love to keep you guessing, other than the fact that they love looking younger than their age, of course.

So if you decide you want to be 25 (like I did for a very long time) then please go ahead. Once you decide that, it is exactly how your body will start responding, like a 25 year old - no gray hairs, no aches and pains and no excess weight.

It was wonderful until the kids thought that this was just a phase and the elementary teacher had a hard time believing that her student's mom was younger than her! so the kids decided to make sure they told everyone how old their mother was. (A very good idea if you want to truly feel your earth years.) Suddenly there was gray hairs, excess weight, and aches and pains.

So I decided that in the interest of all womankind it is imperative that I go back to being 30 for the next 30 years. Guess what happened? No aches and pains, grays all covered, lots of energy, perfect eyesight and memory like an elephant.

Hmmmm so how old are you?

I know you can hear me but are you listening?

How do you get across to an extremely intelligent preteen that you need to apply yourself so you can succeed in life?
How do you answer them when they say that they are afraid to disappoint so they don't even try?
How does a parent explain the importance of being good as a person and as a student to be successful.
How do you distnguish between the unconscious manipulation of a child as a survival instinct versus a conscious manipulation as a character flaw?

I don't have answers for all of the above but I do have an idea how I am planning to approach it. Once a parent, always a parent. You always want your child to succeed. Some succeed with just a little guidance whereas others need a lot more work. If you ask anyone the definition of success, they all have different meanings. For me - it is the ability to do anything that you want whenever you want. In order to do that you have to have the resources and the intelligence to do so.

That is why education is important. Take tough problems early so that you get used to solving them. Be honest and work hard and people will recognize it. As a parent when you see the qualities of your children - good or bad - point it out. Given your experience as a parent - you can tell them the highs and lows of certain behavior.

You nudge, push, yell, scold, hug, threaten, bribe, cajole and reward - whatever it takes to make them see reason. In the end all you can do is hope and pray that they cared enough or were scared enough to listen.

What makes you tick?

I read an interesting article that talks about what makes you achieve your dreams. It boils down to two things - inspiration or desperation.

Well, when you think about it - it makes complete sense.
Either it has to be something that is so awesome that fires up your engine that you want to go out and do it OR you are so desperate and determined that you will go all out to make sure it happens.

You can look at it as a positive or negative. Some people with think of it as a negative but I like to look at it as a positive.
If someone tells you that there is something wrong - instead of looking at it as a criticism - I would look at it as a challenge and an opportunity to do better and learn something.

So what makes me tick?
As a friend mentioned - it is inspiration and desperation but most of all it is perspiration - after all without hard work nothing can be achieved.

Generosity

Sometimes I am amazed at how much people give. At the same time I am appalled at how much people don't give. It does not matter whether it is money, food, knowledge or love - when you give more, you get more.

Having been brought up in a culture where a guest is supposed to be treated like god, it amazes me when people stand in line to get but don't like to return the favor and give.

Why is is so much easier to give to those who don't even ask? Look at the banks - if you have money, they will give you more, if you don't, they are not going to give you any to start with.

How do you define a generous person - someone who is willing to give even when they don't have anything.

These boots are made for walking

I don't understand why we women allow ourselves to be walked over.

From my experiences I have found it is not just men, other women too and kids do that. Maybe it is human nature. Every time a person seems non confrontational - it seems natural to want to dominate that person, whether it is by forcing your ideas, philosophies, way of life, opinions or attitudes.

It took me a long time but I finally got it. Duh! I think it is the slow fuse. It took a while and then finally it got to a point where it was just boiling over and anyone and everyone who was in the way got the full brunt of the anger and resentment.

Q:What was that?
A:It was unhappiness over not being respected.

Q:How do you get people to respect you?
A:Only if you learn to respect yourself.

Q:How do you accomplish that?
A:When you feel that you are being disrespected, you call it out. You have to be bold and call it out. Otherwise your silence will be taken as approval.

Q:But won't it be uncomfortable for someone who is non confrontational?
A: Of course it will be - but you have to do it if you want any respect.

So like the song goes:
These boots are made for walking, and that's what I am gonna do
One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.........

Working out does work

I was never one in favor of working out. To me a gym was a dark, sweaty smelly place with no fresh air. The very thought of going inside on of those rooms and staring at a TV screen never did appeal to me.

Well, I have to say that gyms are not dark or smelly. And now I know the reason for those TV's (it is to distract you from looking at the clock). I started working out while I was job hunting. The dialogue about "exercising increases endorphins and endorphins make you happy" kept running in my head.

I have a buddy too - we keep each other motivated. She wants to lose weight and i want to build strength and stamina for my half marathon later this year. Now, if I don't work out - I feel all wired up like I forgot to do something.

I did not see the impact of working out until I went for physical therapy and I could do the exercises without being in pain. Now it takes longer for me to tire out when I do exercise.

I just got to make sure I don't get bored as I build my stamina.

Interesting answers

The Miss USA pageant was held on Sunday. I am always interested to hear what the five finalists have to say when they are asked that final question. It seems to be the final straw that either makes or breaks them.

I never anticipated the backlash when Ms. California replied that she did not believe in gay marriages. Reports say that her answer cost her her that crown. However I have to applaud her for standing for her convictions. At the same time I wonder if that was the popular answer that everyone wanted to hear.

At the same time Ms. North Carolina said he does not approve of the government bailout - I have mixed feelings about it - I was totally opposed to the government giving the big banks the money, who ended up posting billion dollar profits and gave out million dollar bonuses. However, I am grateful that the government intervened and gave the automakers the loans - so that they can figure out a way to survive. I wonder if the answer she gave was the popular answer that made her the winner.

Becoming a better blogger

I signed up for the 31 days to Become a Better Blogger. This is through www.problogger.net. It lists a new idea every day and something that you have to work on - like an assignment.

It is interesting. It gives me a view of how other people are viewing their blogs. There is so much to learn. If you are already blogging then this is something to try out.

Problem Solver

I was reading an interesting article that talked about achieving your dreams. It said that the two major contributors to achieving your dream is either desperation or inspiration. I totally agree. In my case it is a little bit of both.

I read an article on how people meeting their goals - by focusing at the end result and being distracted by the naysayers - I totally agree with that too. I would not have gotten very far with my debut dance program if it were not for that focus.

I also read an article that says that problems are created for you to solve them so that you can grow. Now, I have lots of problems - at least that is what other say - so I guess I have lots of room to grow.

Now if I could only find an article that shows me how to solve my problems - I won't have any problems. :)

Life is fair

If you don't have anything good to say - don't say it.
Treat others how you want to be treated.
There are no bad people only bad circumstances.

How many of you heard the above statements - so many times - that they are cliches?
But let me tell you my friends, they have been around for so long because it is true.

A lousy situation at work might prompt you into saying something nasty about a colleague or a boss - but it will haunt you when you are out of a job and need their help. Now you know why they say - get references?

Even at the high school level and you apply for college - they say get 3 references from teachers who LIKE you. Why ruin your chances of getting into a college because someone gave you a bad letter of reccommendation?

When something does not go your way - you say "Life is not fair!"
When kids don't get what they want when they want it, they say - Life is not fair!
When you plan every step meticulously and it still does not work out, you say - life is not fair!

But life is fair - You just don't know all the facts.

You can relate it to the Butterfly effect - Small variations of the initial condition of a dynamical system may produce large variations in the long term behavior of the system - this is the scientific explanation.

When you look at it philosphically - there are reasons why things happened - it is always for the best - you just cannot see it right now.

So if things go wrong and you say - Life is not fair, just remember

Life is fair - you just don't know all the facts!

Spring is here!

How can you not love spring?

It gives you a new lease on life, a feeling of starting over - whether it be planting a new garden or planning a new career move or just being able to see the grass instead of snow.

It is one of my favorite seasons. I love seeing the crocuses come up, reminding me where I planted it last fall and the daffodils - cheers you up even when it rains.

The days are longer - it gets light early and stays light longer. The winter jackets are put away and the spring jackets are out along with the gumboots or galoshes that I saw while I was in the Northeast this past week.

I have never seen so many people so happy about it being spring. Or maybe I am just seeing what I am feeling. After all what you see in the world is a reflection of your state of mind.

My state of mind says - Yaaaaay! Spring is here!!!

True colors

I always look at everything at face value. Makes it much less stressful trying to work out the mind games and hidden agendas. However, it was interesting to see how people react when you tell them that not everything is hunky dory.

America is a rich country. So much so that you cannot afford to be poor. It takes much more effort to get out of that 'poor syndrome' than if you are rich. I am sure this is not a new concept, but I was experiencing it first hand. Whether it is obtaining credit, maintaining respect of your peers or reaction of family and friends - it is very different when you are gainfully employed than when you are not.

I was not upset - just sensitive to how people reacted. I guess the recession has not really hit all parts of the country. In some places it is just something they hear on the news.

But that is okay - since this too shall pass.

Boycott the recession

I was at a National Honor Society (NHS)Induction ceremony at the high school. They had invited a guest speaker Ms. Donna Zobel, who is an alum and an NHS scholar. I was very impressed with her speech because even in these tough times she was able to instill hope.

My favorite line that she said was "I am boycotting the recession!" I am in full agreement with her. When you listen to the news and the radio and read the newspapers about gloom and doom, your energies start to diminish. The atmosphere that you start to create also starts to reflect dismal times.

The reason why I was impressed was because she was given the Rainmaker award for increasing business during tough ecconomic times. She refused to acknowledge that the recession means slow business, used the tough economic times as an opportunity to look at things in a different way, created possibilities to make money and succeeded.

When you look for possibilities in every opportunity - you will succeed.

Decisions! Decisions!

Sometimes I wish someone just told me what to do so I do not have to think. Never mind, been there done that and nope, it does not help.

You have to go through the process of making the decision yourself in order to make it worthy. You have to go through the pain and agony of each pro and con of each factor and hash it out in your head, talk it out loud in front of the mirror or discuss it aloud with a close one - before you realize how weak it sounds.

Why can't it be so easy as Yes or No - and sometimes even those are the hardest.
Why can't it be as easy as black or white - and sometimes you want it to be gray.
Why can't it be as easy as this is what I want period - and sometimes you want to be practical.

I guess if it has to be worth it - then the process has to be painful.
Another life lesson.