To work or not to work...

I am sure there are countless mothers who go through this dilemma in their lives - do I go to work or do I stay home and raise kids?

For some there is not much of a choice - you have to pay bills and put food on the table - you have to go to work. For some others it is a choice - only one spouse can have a demanding career and yet for some it is a calculated choice - I stay home now with the baby and go back to work when the kids go back to school.

In the European countries, women are encouraged to stay home and raise their kids, and in some cultures it is a given. In the United States there are both - women who stay home and those who try and do it all. Nothing wrong with either in my opinion, however it is a question of balance.

When the kids are babies - they need their mothers - obviously. Nobody will look after their baby like their own unless it is the mom. But at times you will end up leaving your child with a baby sitter - because you have no one else around to help. The sad part is that those who are responsible for caring your most precious possession in the whole wide world is paid below minimum wage yet they have such a huge responsibility.

As the kids get older and they go to school, they still need their parents to help and guide them. Middle school is crucial because this is the awkward age, when the things their friends say will define how they look at life. Instilling confidence at this age is imperative, it gives them the courage to make the right decision.

By the time they get to high school, they have found what they have been looking for in their social lives, so they spend an inordinate amount of time with their friends and less time with their family. I guess it is preparation for when they leave home for college and they have to fend for themselves anyway.

The question of going to work starts to bother you when either you feel unfulfilled because suddenly you realize that 15 years have passed and your qualifications are out of date or you can't afford half the things cause you don't have that disposable income.

So what is the conclusion? You do what you have to do. Will it affect your kids if you work? No - they will learn to adjust in situations because you have taught them how to. Will they be spoilt if you stay home - No, not if you do everything for them. It is all about balance, give and take, sharing and caring.